I'm ok. Really. I'm fine. Everything's great, how about you? I'm doing pretty good, thanks.
How many times have you said these and not really meant it? How many times have you just wanted to say "I'm doing pretty crappy today, thanks for asking, and tomorrow will probably be just as craptacular as today so don't bother asking." Or maybe something like "Well, I feel like s%^& and I can hardly move my hands and feet, and my brain is all fuzzy like someone dumped all my files out and I really just want to go home and go back to bed. Thanks for asking"
This is me or shall I say, was me when I was working, on a daily basis. I just smiled and faked it. That's right. I faked it. I faked being ok for a long time so that no one would feel sorry for me, or feel like I was a burden on the company or family. So, now that that is out in the open, lets have some chocolate, shall we?
I currently am going by the moniker 'CaveGurl'sMom', which will hide my identity to those who don't really know me well, but will totally give it away to those who know me best. I am a mad fibromyalgia woman. I also have a herniated c5/6 disk and a bulging c3/4. I have been off work for a month or so on disability because the pain finally got so bad that I can hardly function as a normal person right now. But, I look normal. I don't have any huge boils on my face, no scars, no missing limbs, no obvious paralysis, no baldness, I seem normal on first impression. Stick around long enough and you'll notice there is something not quite right about me. Most people think it is emotional problems. In reality, it is the pain I am trying to hide that is manifesting itself as emotion. I am currently in so much pain, I would rather be in labor, you know...childbirth...24 hours a day. That would honestly be less painfull. Resting helps some, but after awhile it actually magnifies the pain. I have to do something with what little bit of brain I have control of thanks to the drugs and fibro, so I sew, and now I write on this blog and my everyday life is fabulous blog. Take care and don't let the monster beat you down.
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1 comment:
I deal with the same thing, people often say, "Why didn't you tell me that you are in pain?" Because that's all I would ever be saying & people wouldn't like me very much. I haven't had kids but I always suspected that the pain was akin to labor. I appreciate that you can handle the situation with humor.
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