What fun it is when people ask how I lost all this weight!

People from my 'former' life keep asking how I lost all this weight. I've lost 50 lbs so far since October, and mostly gotten rid of the diabetes. Anyway, they keep asking for my dieting secrets and I love to tell them that all it takes is 1 disabling disease, 1 neck surgery, 2 viruses, and 2 mental illness. They tend to change the subject...wonder why.

I guess honesty isn't always the best policy when dealing with some people. Why is it that people don't mind hearing about all the money you spend decorating, or car buying, or clothes shopping. But when it comes to being honest about health problems people start heading for the hills. I guess that they are just afraid that whatever you have will rub off on them even though the damn disease and disabling neck are not contagious. Apparently no news is better than bad news...

I really have tried the subtle path...for about 5 seconds :) Subtlety and I don't quite get along. I just tend to blurt out what ever is on my mind. One of my good friends, my ex-husbands father, says that's what he likes best about me...my tendency to 'tell it like it is'. That makes me feel good. Too bad not all of my friends feel that way.

So, I guess the point is, blurting out terrible medical information is not always a good idea!

Have a happy fibro day :)

Fibro+ Disability+ADHD+OCD+ Lay-offs=No brain left for blogging?

I may have my math wrong, you know how fibro fog and the meds can rob you of rational thought. In the last month I have been diagnosed with ADHD and found I have had it since childhood, the docs are still playing with a diagnoses of OCD but I'm definitely obsessive and compulsive but maybe not in that way. Then I got layed off at the first of the month! Yay! No more comfort of knowing I have somewhere to go when I am 'fixed', no more cheap health insurance, no more benefits, no more workplace friends! What a pick me up that has been (soneday I will have to learn how to say something without the dripping sarcasm). Can I blame them? No. It's been nearly 6 months I've been out on disability and my (now their) industry is a fast paced need people now kind of thing. So having to hold a place for little ol me while the docs are trying to figure me out and fix me enough to be a productive member of society (ok, I'd settle for a few hours of productive at this point!) can't be an easy thing. Whether I blame them or not, still doesn't make it feel any better.

So, I started going to a Psychiatrist at the urging of my fibro NP because she was nearly at the end of her bag of magic tricks and this Doc had helped heal some fibro patients in the past. This was a very difficult appointment for me to keep as I have a hard time with letting other's inside my brain, it's cramped enough in there as it is! But I went out of desperation. This doc had me pegged in the first 5 minutes! He talked to me for a couple of minutes, had me take a small 5 or 6 question test, asked if he could call my relative who took me there into the room and gave me a couple of other tests and BAMM! I have ADHD. Never would have suspected it, or rather I wouldn't have! After a few more visits we have discovered I have had this since at least middle school and that it has become progressively more difficult for me to 'manage' or hide from others. Of course all the while I am completely unaware I am managing or hiding anything from anyone! It's all happening behind my back (or behind my brain?).

Now to the good part, there have been links to ADHD and fibromyalgia in some people. Aha! Maybe I am one of them and maybe when we get this one under control the fibro will follow suit?!? That is my hope, my light at the end of this dark, sad, lonely tunnel. Maybe someday I'll even be an engineer again.

Back from the shadows

Sorry, I have been a delinquent blogger the last 2 months. Mostly this is due to having surgery on my neck and the nasty Fibromyalgia symptoms the surgery has kicked up into high gear.

Will post more about it when I get the energy to.

Can I have a side of Diabetes with that?

Once again I am hit with a snag in the road to health. I found out Thursday that I have Type 2 Diabetes. I've had the blood sugar monitor for a month or so due to Dr. Primary's suspicions and now I have to use it along with the new additional medication. Yep. one. more. pill. I think it makes me nauseous. I've only taken it 3 times but I haven't felt well since. Of course, it could also be the complete shock and fear imposed by this new enemy.

Looks like I'll be having surgery on my neck finally. Have to have another MRI first to make sure there is not another disk herniated because of my additional symptoms seem to be pointing to another disk when we know the C5/C6 disk is herniated. This surgery is something I am NOT looking forward too, at least not now that I have a new foe to deal with. I am scared to death of any surgery, but come on folks, they're cutting into my neck! OUCH! Afterward, I will have my neck in a hard brace so that I can't move my head or neck for 6 WEEKS! Holy crap! My mind just can't process all of this...

Maybe tomorrow will be brighter

Pain Psychologist Monday

You guessed right, folks, today is once again, 'Pain Psychologist Monday'! For a little added bonus we are also featuring 'Mobile Chiropractor' for those hard to reach pain spots behind your shoulder blade.

What a day. My Pain Psych is a great lady. But, I am not feeling any of the pain coping strategies yet. Maybe they will come with time. I still can't believe I have more doctors than there are days in the week, more medications too. The latest and greatest news is that I will be seeing the spine surgeon on Wednesday too (hopefully) schedule surgery on my neck. That's right, I actually WANT the surgery! Shocking, but true. I think the only way to break this pain cycle is to hit it at the source and just remove the herniated disc. Then maybe the rest of the therapies everyone is trying to shove down my throat will actually begin to work.

I have spent many months contemplating this surgery. I am not one to take surgery lightly. But after much research, alternative therapies, other medications, and time, the only conclusion I can reach is that surgery is the only answer. Hopefully my spine surgeon will agree.

So Many Medications, So Little Time...

Once again, they (insert any of my numerous doctors) have changed my medications. It is now day 4 of a new pain med and it's starting to really bother me. I wonder how many more meds there are for them to try out on me? At times I feel like a guinea pig, at other times, I realize they are really trying hard to figure out a way to help me the most with the least amount of medications and other trauma to my system. Today it really hit me that I am taking some serious quantities of medications. I must be slow, because for weeks my family has been freaking out about this very topic. I guess it's time to check them all out to see if I feel they are necessary and then talk to the docs yet again. I wonder what will happen when they run out of different pain meds to try on this poor little fibromyalgia girl? No, don't want to go THERE yet! ;)

So far this combination of drugs is working well for me, I am able to do more before I have to stop and rest, however I have less rational thought available and less critical thinking ability, so it is not all positive. Right now though, the ability to do more is more important to me. I couldn't work right now any way, and driving has been out of the question for a long time too, so doing more definitely is a step in the positive direction. Even so, I have these brick walls that slam into me from out of nowhere and I'm off to sleep for an hour or more. Freaks my family out, but what am I to do?

Take care everyone!

Creating makes me feel better

I love to sew, quilt, crochet and I'm learning to love knitting as well, however, my current obsession is sewing...clothes, wallets, bags, crafts, anything that catches my fleeting attention. My hands hurt every day as a result of my disk and/or fibromyalgia.

Some days I sew because my hands don't hurt as bad and I want to take advantage of that. Some days I sew because my hands hurt and the sewing will take my mind off of the majority of the pain for a while, even if it's only for a few minutes. Today I am making a draft dodger for my mother out of some scrap denim. It is just a simple quick project, but the momentary mental relief from the pain is well worth the physical pain that will result from the effort.

My point is, whatever makes you happy, no matter how small or how painful to acheive, go for it. Time is fleeting and life is short and we should not let fibromyalgia get in our way of a wee bit of fun.